Is Your Child Daydreaming or in Shutdown? How to Support Neurodivergent Kids
Have you ever noticed your child staring off into space and wondered, Are they daydreaming or in shutdown?
Understanding the difference between these two states is vital for parents of neurodivergent children so they can respond with empathy and support.
Daydreaming or in Shutdown: Why It Matters
Knowing whether your child is in a gentle, imaginative daydream or experiencing nervous system shutdown can completely change how you support them.
One is light, creative, and voluntary.
The other is a response to overwhelm, requiring sensitivity and care.
Understanding Daydreaming
Daydreaming is a voluntary, light state where your child’s mind drifts to explore stories, ideas, or creative possibilities.
- Signs of Daydreaming: Relaxed posture, soft gaze, and easy re-engagement when prompted.
- What It Feels Like: A drifting balloon of thought, colourful images weaving together, often leaving your child refreshed.
Recognising Shutdown
Shutdown is not voluntary — it’s the nervous system’s way of coping with too much input or emotional overwhelm.
Signs of Shutdown:
- Stillness or immobility
- Avoiding eye contact
- Unresponsive to usual prompts
Inside, your child may feel stuck — like wading through molasses or being trapped underwater.
Thoughts are present but hard to access, and emotions feel heavy or paralysing.
Supporting Without Pressure
When you identify shutdown, focus on creating safety instead of demanding interaction.
- Reduce sensory input: dim lights, lower noise, soften textures.
- Offer gentle options: “Would you like a quiet break?” or “Shall we sit together?”
- Respect their pace and avoid pushing for immediate responses.
Learn More About Shutdown in Children
Watch my full video Is Your Child Daydreaming or in Shutdown? Support Neurodivergent Kids.
Helping Re-Engagement
Reconnecting after shutdown should feel gradual and safe.
- Use calm co-regulation — soft tone, slow breathing, steady presence.
- Provide movement or soothing objects to help the nervous system reset.
- Reintroduce activity slowly, always allowing your child choice and control.
Final Thoughts
Recognising whether your child is daydreaming or in shutdown can help you respond with understanding and build deeper connection.
With the right support, children feel safe, valued, and better equipped to navigate their emotions.